A weekend in Michigan 1


I’d have to do math to say which exact year it was that my daughter, Shannon, my siblings, Bob and Bernadette and I went to see Kelly in Michigan and I really don’t feel like doing that right now.   My guess would be 2004 or 5.  It’s possible that it was 2006 but not very likely.   My niece, Kelly, lives in Michigan and we adore her, that’s why we went to Michigan.

Bernadette took a different fight and arrived ahead of the rest of us.  Bob, Shan and I traveled together.  We stopped in Chicago to each save a hundred dollars.  We were told on the plane, which gate we needed to go to in order to connect with our connecting flight. Bob, Shannon and I ran our asses off to get to the correct gate in order to make the flight in time just to find out that our information was incorrect.  Out of breath and completely irritated we then sprinted in another direction clear across the Chicago airport to connect with our real connection.  If it were possible to indeed, literally, run one’s ass off…I think I’d actually choose another body part to run off.  So apparently NOT literally we ran our asses off.  We huffed and we puffed and we sprinted and we probably irritated people as we gently, or not or maybe not so gently moved  them out of our way during this newest and unexpected sprint.   We were on a mission.  NOTHING was going to prevent us from reaching our Kelly.

We flew into Detroit, had rooms in Ann Arbor and Kelly lived right next door in Ypsilanti although we made sure she had room to stay with us while we were there. God bless Kelly who picked us up at the airport and took us to our hotel.  Kelly was our concierge for the weekend and she was, of course, an-oh-so-fabulous concierge.  I’m definitely going to have to dig up the pictures from that weekend.  It was a LOT of fun.  Somewhere along the way, in the car, someone told someone else to fuck off.  Sketchy at best.  Apparently it was mentioned that one shouldn’t say that to family,  “well, if you can’t tell you’re own family to fuck off, who can ya tell?”  was the comeback, I think it was Kelly who coined that phrase.   There it was.  Of course we all think we’re funny as hell so that became our catch-all phrase for the weekend, F.O. for short.  We had conversations relative to these:

That is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!

Fuck off

I’m tired.

Fuck off

Where should we go to eat?

F.O.

Do you want another cocktail?

Fuck off

Kelly took us to a park along a river, a fabulous scenic walk. Bernadette had a new camera and took several pictures that are amazing. I do need to look up those photos.   We walked along the river for a time and then crossed a bridge to go in the opposite  to get back to where we started.  Somewhere along that second part I talked to a duck.   I didn’t have any food so I apologized for that and let her know how very pretty she was, several times.  We’d made eye contact, what are ya gonna do?  I don’t  know if she understood English or was sucked into the eye contact but from then on we had a companion.  She was nothing short of fabulous.  To this day I adore her.  She had a lot to say at various times during our journey together.   We listened.  Maybe that’s why she adopted us.  That little duck girl followed us for a mile or more.  Shortly after she started following us, when the path we were taking took us past picnickers who tried to feed and liquidate her she wanted nothing to do with them.  She was intent on and stuck on us.  We walked, she followed.  At one point we stopped and made a circle to converse with each other on what we were going to do next and guess who joined the circle and added her input.  By that time I was thinking  that I needed to get a pet carrier and take her home with me.  I live on a pond.  She could winter indoors, Boo would have to adjust, I get that.   She had to come home with us.

Wishful but not probable. Therefore we had to become evil and trick our new little girlfriend.  We got back to the civilization part of this river walk where lots of people were and we all bee-lined into a frequently used establishment.  Soda shop?  Souvenir shop?  Idk, the point is that we all tricked her in order to lose her in the confusion of a lot of  people being around. When we came out of the establishment our new friend was surrounded by admirers.  I can only hope she attached herself to someone worthy of her.  She was so funny, when she was following us if we walked too fast for her liking,  she scolded us, quack, quack, quacking  as she ran to catch up.  Ducks who lecture, there ya go.  It was fun and then it was  “aw…I have to trick you so that I can leave you”  :o(.   I still think I could have a pet duck.  I like ducks.

That night the 5 of us went  into the hotel bar which was  called “Bedrock” or something similar and was based on the The Flintstones and it was cute just like something out of Bedrock.  We were sitting off to the right of the door and soon started noticing that a lot of very large women were swarming in, and in, and in.  By “very large” of course I mean very, very, very large.  They danced.  They also kept entering.  More and more of them.  They filled up the dance floor and just kept coming.  We did notice that the later they came in, the better they were dressed. Finally, the latest  new comers entering were wearing sashes,  as if they were a Miss State something or other and then, at last…a winner walked in.  Tiara on head, scepter in hand, sash stating she was “Mrs.” large something or other arrived and the room erupted in applause.  We had booked the Mrs. Large Michigan convention weekend and hotel, who knew?   Those women were fabulous.  They had a great time which made it fun to be a spectator.  When we left the bar I had Kelly, Bob, Shan and Bern pose by a light or something outside the bar, stating the name.  Really cute, a random group of people got behind them all to be included in the photo.  Don’t know those people but I adore them.  Random, off the wall, good humor.  They weren’t photo-bombing,  lined up and all smiled for the camera.  I wanna hang out with them sometime.

The next day we went to the Henry Ford museum, or Ford museum or whatever the official name is.  Didn’t think I’d like it even though I adore history.  Something else that was nothing short of  fabulous.  I can’t even begin to write an ounce of what’s in there, it’s everything.   JFK’s limo, fascinating for me.  I thought I took a picture of Shannon in front of it, missed.  It was actually a photo of her in front of Ronald Reagan’s, meh.   Apparently I needed to have her move down one limo, which I did.  I sat on the very bus, in the exact spot that Rosa Parks sat in on that historical day.  I saw the  chair Abraham Lincoln was sitting in when he was shot by John Wilkes Booth! They sold t-shirts w/the names of the major league, female baseball teams during WWII~look up the movie, A League Of Our Own.  There’s so much in there that there’s something for everything so one just has to follow their focus.  Neither Shan nor I had brought our significant others for the weekend trip.  Being in the museum we each saw so very much that would be of interest to our S.O.s that we decided we had to go back and bring them with.  Haven’t yet but hey, I’m paying tuition.

That last day in MI we met a guy that Kelly was dating at the time.  Very brave of him to meet all of us, ya think?  He was very nice and polite and we behaved ourselves, which means we were polite as well even though we really didn’t have anything to talk about.  Then it was time to head for the airport.  I’m very sure that the guy was very glad that we had to go.  Most of us walked out to Kelly’s car, he walked out to his car and at the last moment Bob called out to him across the parking lot  “Hey George” or whatever his name was and the poor innocent guy responded to which Bob replied “fuck off”.  Yep, we all cracked up.  Catch-phrase for the weekend, I think that was Bob’s way of telling him that he’s okay because after all…if you can’t tell your own family to fuck off, who can ya tell?


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