As amazing as they can be (and not in a good way) these people should just not reproduce. Sometimes, by the time we meet them, they’ve already done so.
Today at work one of my co-workers called a restaurant that delivers. My co-worker asked the girl who answered the phone, what was it was that made up a certain named sandwich. The girl told him all the ingredients that was put into making that sandwich. My co-worker then told the girl that he’d like to order said sandwich….that’s when she told him that they no longer served it.
B&N circa 2000, a mom came in looking for a new book series for her 12 or 13 year old son to read. Her son had already read this and that series and of course he and an IQ of 412. Before I was able to suggest anything she spouted that she was not going to allow him to read “those awful Harry Potter books”. Although I am a huge fan of the books I didn’t have time to respond in any way before this mom added “did you know that his (Harry’s) parents were killed?” I gently reminded her that Bambi’s mom was murdered as well, her response was….honest, word for word here “YES, BUT THAT’S FICTION!”
Back when the kids were small and we lived in the apartment, I’d made a substantial deposit into my bank account one weekend so that come Monday, I could write the rent check, buy groceries, fill up my gas tank, pick up school supplies, everything. At that time in my life I was in the habit of calling the bank everyday for my balance and checking to see what had and what had not gone through my account so I’d always be on top of things. That Monday morning I called the automated line and it didn’t have a record of my weekend deposit. Not normal for me, I had my deposit receipt. I hit the proper button to connect me to a human and gave the person who answered the phone all the necessary #s from the receipt to prove that I had made the deposit. No matter what I said to the girl who answered the phone she insisted that my deposit did not exist. I finally asked this girl if there was someone above her that I could talk to and she told me no. That question, I kept asking repeatedly and she kept repeating that there was no one above her that I could speak with. Finally I asked her if there was ANYONE else there that I could speak with and her response was “only my manager and my supervisor”.
A few doors down from my place of employment is a steak place. Not a restaurant, mind you, this place has employees who drive around in refrigerated, little Chevy Love type pick up trucks and it’s my belief that the merely solicit their wares. I could mention several stories of the employees but this one is about the owner. A month or so after that company moved into the neighborhood the owner came into our office, introduced himself (and I believe he had a box of steaks on his shoulder) and said “I was going to throw these away but if you’d like to buy these at a discount…”.
A man came in to B&N and told me he was looking for a biography of Philip Marlowe. I asked him if he was sure that it was Philip Marlowe he was looking for and he assured me that it was. I explained to this man that Philip Marlowe 1st came to life in 1939 in “The Big Sleep” and that he hadn’t existed (to my knowledge) previously. This man insisted that I check my computer, which I did and again told him that Philip Marlowe made his debut in “The Big Sleep” and there was no prior knowledge of him. He also insisted that I agree to certain facts about Philip Marlowe that just weren’t so, so no, I didn’t agree to them. This led to a 20 minute Q&A episode before this man finally understood that Philip Marlowe is a fictional character. In all fairness to that man, after another 10 minute Q&A session it turned out that he was looking for a biography on Christopher Marlowe. Fine, but don’t ever be SO sure of your facts that you’re not willing to listen. Everybody’s wrong sometimes. I very much dislike people who are never wrong. I also dislike people who only see black and white, never gray and can never see outside of the box.
On that note, here’s one that isn’t amusing. Alex’ 4th grade, ex-nun (in my opinion neo-nazi) teacher who insisted that each studenst have this many pencils and keep them in this place in their desk and must have this many pens and they all must be put in this place in their desk and they must have this many notebooks which MUST be placed here and so on….give me an effin break. Kids are kids and they aren’t allowed any individuality? All desks were to look identical. Kill me now. This is the woman I had to stop Rob from jumping across the table and choking at conferences once and this is the woman with whom I went several rounds with to get her to let Alex keep a box of kleenex in his desk. Are you kidding me? Alex has allergies and it should have never been an issue to begin with. This woman was an entire special kind of stupid believing that everyone MUST fit into the same mold.
A few weeks ago I went to meet a girlfriend at a certain establishment between this time and that time and after looking through the bar, the restaurant and the tables outside without seeing her I sat down at the bar and while doing so I wondered aloud if I was late. Apparently the very young bartender heard me because she immediately asked me “late for what?” and added “I didn’t know there was an event here tonight”. I explained to her that I wasn’t there for an event, was just meeting a friend and wondered if I’d missed her. She again told me that she wasn’t aware of an event there that evening. I explained again that we weren’t meeting for an event, just privately to catch up on each other’s lives and touch base with each other. At that point the thought occurred to me that maybe we were supposed to have met the previous week and (just because I talk to myself) I verbalized this new thought and the bartender informed me that she hadn’t worked the previous Thursday and had no idea if there had been an event at the bar the previous Thursday.
A man, presumably my age at the time, walked up to the info desk at B&N, he was in an awful hurry as if he wanted to spend no time in the store and kind of spit out but also kind of asked ” my dad is 77 years old….what would he like?”. Okay, the woman who shouted at me that Bambi is fiction I literally had to turn and walk away from. This man I had to look at….for a long time…as if, and I was, waiting for more information. So there we are, him looking at me with arched eyebrows as if I’m going to give him a definitive answer and me looking at him as in you are a complete, ungrateful idiot. Sometimes a minute can be a very long time. We locked eyes for a full minute before I broke the stare-down by informing him that I knew nothing about his father and could not even begin to guess at his father’s likes or interests. Okay, maybe with that one I described an ass, not a stupid person. We’ll never know. I”m just hoping that his dad cut him out of his will.
Waiting on a table of 2, an older man and a younger woman, she asked me what my favorite on the menu was. I love cows, I am a complete carnivore. I informed her that my favorite was the filet mignon. “Well” she said “how do I know there won’t be any bones in that?” I was honest. I gently as I was able to, I let her know that cow bones were kind of big and that they would be spotted. She then informed the that with the way they change the names of all the fish nowadays, she couldn’t keep up with everything.
I can’t even count on all of my fingers and toes how many people I’ve served white zinfandel to that have informed me that their wine wasn’t white. Really?
Back when I worked at the “Instant restaurant” there was a round table for larger parties and it had a huge lazy susan in the center. Above this table was a giant planter hanging from the ceiling. One Sunday afternoon there was a family consisting of 3 small boys, the boys parents and one set of grandparents. The adults outnumbered the children, that’s why I was a little baffled when I walked into the dining room and saw one of the young boys was attempting to swing from the planter. I ran over and grabbed him and put him back in his chair. The boy’s mom turned around , a little surprised and immediately let me know how hard it is to try to watch 3 kids at the same time. Right, she was only kidding herself. She hadn’t been watching any of them, she’d been engaged in conversation without paying any attention to her children.
Not the worst I’ve run into in my life, just the ones that have crossed my mind tonight. Several different of kinds of stupid. Anyway, this is kind of a depressing subject so I’m going to shut up now and just hope that these people don’t reproduce.