Everyone in the world calls him Bob except me. I will refer to him and even introduce him as Bob but I’ve never called him that. I call him Robert or Roberto. One of the many things I do that doesn’t make sense. My mom had 4 kids in 4 years, in order, Claudette, Robert and Bernadette and then me 2 years later. I know, 2 years between Bernadette and me and my mom still had 4 children in 4 years (Joe wasn’t born until I was 8 & a 1/2). She was definitely a busy mom. She’s always told me that my dad was the only man in Minneapolis that ever went home over lunch to help change diapers. I don’t have 4 children. I imagine if I did I would do as my mom did, divide and conquer. As the parent you are out numbered. We did things in twos. One weekend my sisters both went to my grandmother’s for the weekend. A few weeks later Bob & I went to our grandmother’s for the weekend. She bought us each a present and took us back home the same day she picked us up. Apparently we were the wrong 2 to put together. I’m not sure which it is, we either have too much fun together or cause to much trouble together. Probably both.
Before our downstairs was finished we had to share the bedrooms upstairs. We’d switch rooms and room mates now and again, that was fun for us. Bob and I only got to be room mates for a week. My mom bought us a record album with stories and songs on it and split us up. I think it was after that that we were never allowed to sit next to each other in the car, we were never allowed to sit next to each other at the dinner table, heck, we weren’t even allowed to sit across the dinner table from each other. We had to be diagonal at the dinner table. When we got a little older we would go, by twos, to my grandparent’s house in Kansas City for a week or two in the summer. Bob and I never went together. We just weren’t allowed. I always got stuck with Bernadette. I love her, but…she was always the one who would get homesick and so we would have to go home early.
The 1st time I worked w/Bob was at my very 1st job. Bernadette had gotten a job at a restaurant when she was 16, two years later I came on board and a year or two after that, Bob did too. On and off throughout the decades Bob and I have worked together at various places. We get along, probably laugh too much, definitely bicker too much but it all works out. I really can’t tell you when he started working for the company we both work for now, in his mid 30’s somewhere. Whenever they were thinking of hiring he would call me. Right, me, the single mom with 3 kids. I can’t afford daycare. That’s why I worked at more than one place and only part-time, I could set my hours as needed. I was tempted once but after doing the math, it just wouldn’t have panned out.
Bottom line, I did finally get a job there, my 1st full time job ever…at the ripe old age of 41, so once again we work together. Our desks were next to each other….yeah, that didn’t last long either. Now we are (once again) diagonal from each other. We have our on days and we have our off days, there ya go. Over all I think we work well together. Since this last round of working together again I’ve noticed something, more and more, brother bear talks faster than he thinks and the things that have come out of his mouth have not only kept us in stitches, but also sometimes, just make us shake our heads. We call them Bobisms. Our boss keeps a list of these Bobisms.
Without having the list in front of me, these are the ones I remember, probably because they’ve amused me the most. The most recent being:
As children we are taught that if our clothes are on fire we must: Stop, drop and roll. However, according to Bob we must: Duck, tuck and roll. Yep, that still makes me laugh :o) I know, to give him credit he was mixing the atomic attack drills of the 50’s with the fire thing, but still.
Or, how ’bout this one: My girlfriend’s boyfriend is from China. He said that more than once even, what he meant was his sister’s boyfriend. Me, being me, had to call him on it and ask him if there was something about he and Bernadette that I needed to know.
Or: My next door neighbors who live 2 houses down. I know, we all knew he meant the distance of 2 houses down, but still.
Those are my favorites of the most recent Bobisms. Of the older ones, relying on my non existent memory here, we have:
Well, he’s just a flash in the pants.
Be still my bleeding heart.
All is well that ends for the both of us.
That’s the 1st time I’ve heard that from your pearly white lips.
There’s tons more but for tonight that’s where my memory ends. As funny as he can be, accidentally, he is much more funny when it’s intentional. I have a great story about when we worked together when I was 29 and married and pregnant and we led one guy to believe I was having an affair with his brother. That’s hysterical but we’ll save it for another night. Although there are times he thinks he’s funny and he’s not. That would be the ‘my dad’ in him :o) I work with my brother, Bob, I adore him and he irritates me. He adores me and I irritate him. Overall, we make a good team :o)