I have dad stories that could go on forever. I am blessed to still have my dad, he’s 77 years old, overweight, diabetic and lives about 4 miles away. He lives to make people laugh, and if he can’t, he makes himself laugh. Of course that’s always at the expense of someone else. Or, I could have that the wrong way around. After being married for 55 years he still absolutely adores my mom. Or, then again he does that just to annoy her. I just know that I’m tired of walking with my dad, my mom being miles ahead (because no one walks faster than my mom, holy crap, try being a kid and keeping up w/her at an airport~you’re left behind if you can’t keep pace) and my dad turning to me and saying “your mom has the sexiest ass” or “don’t you wish you could walk like that?”. Hello? Dad! I’m not into women and that’s my MOM!
My favorite dad stories are at the expense of my mom. Twice he’s done this to her. Once in a grocery store when her wisdom teeth were coming in and her face was all puffy and bruised, the second time was in a crowded elevator in Washington DC after she’d been in a car accident and again, her face was all puffy and bruised. Neither of them can recall what she initially said to him and it’s not important, both times she said something to him and he turned to her and said “if you don’t shut up, I’m going to hit you again”. Oh yeah, public humiliation. Slam! He just wants her attention :o) The grocery store incident was many decades ago but the elevator incident was only a few decades ago. My mom, okay I’m laughing as I write this, the elevator thing flustered the hell out of my mom, she told me “There was nothing I could do! If I said nothing I looked like one of those women who put up with that kind of shit, if I bitched at him everyone in the elevator would think ‘no wonder why he hits her’.” My mom isn’t like my dad, but I’m his daughter :o) Hard to tell what my response would have been, spur of the moment comebacks are much different than having time to think about it so I’m just not gonna go there. I can only say that whatever response I may have had, Samantha’s would have been better.
Going through high school, with my dad, as my dad…definitely a challenge. We are brought up to trust our parents, right? We were brought up wrong, that’s all I can say…well again, if you have my dad as a parent. Hard as it may be to believe, I was so very shy and polite ~I know, figure that one out. One night when I was probably 14 years old I got a call from dufus-boy. Really? WTH? Tried to be as polite as I could be in turning him down for a date (dinner and the local roller rink). Told him that my grandparents from MO were coming for a visit (that was truthful) and that I thought I needed to stay home and visit with them (which wasn’t true). I’m not a good liar. I hate it and suck at it and don’t think I sound truthful soooooooo my dad walked into the room and I thought I would back up my statement. I held the phone away from me and yelled “hey, dad! I can’t go out on a date of Friday night because your mom and dad are coming…RIGHT?” Pointed at the phone in my hand, mouthed to him to say “no” and shook my head vigorously. My dad….my dad…right, MY dad yelled out “SURE YOU CAN JAC!” Um, right, thanks dad, for that. So I went to dinner, a buffet dinner, with dufus-boy and his entire family! Dufus-dad, dufus-mom, little sister and dufus-little brother. Right, fun times in the big town of Rosemount, MN. That, and hell for a 14 year old girl with nothing but escape mode on the brain. The night ended up kinda okay because at the roller rink I had lined up a date w/a cute boy for the following weekend. However, my ride home was dufus-boy. His dad came to pick us up and they drove me home and when he came in for the kiss good-night I backed up and started frantically pushing the doorbell. Couldn’t hear the doorbell from the outside but my mom heard it and opened the door before I either had to kiss him or make up an excuse not to. God bless my mom’s mom for teaching me that one :o) His name was Tom, I really do hope he’s had a good life and am very glad I wasn’t a part of it.